It’s not uncommon for people to say to me, “You do all that soft and fluffy stuff don’t you?” Yep, that’s me.
We then follow that conversation where they tell me that it sounds nice, there’s a time & a place for it, but really we need to get the job done, we just don’t have time for all of that.
So, let’s dig into that.
Sounds nice. Time & a place. Need to get the job done. Don’t have time.
Imagine you’re in a meeting with colleagues. Your team have increased workloads but haven’t be able to grow. You’re under strict budgeting restrictions, yet are expected to meet targets. It’s not a nice place to be. Your Leader, checks in & hears the confirmation they didn’t want. They knew it was coming, but still didn’t want to hear it. They nod, they smile that awkward smile. They then proceed to blame & accuse you of not doing your job. You need to step up, manage your team or there will be consequences.
How you are feeling?
Decision time.
1. Let it go, take it on the chin, they have a point.
2. Push back, argue, stand your ground, tell them to deal with reality.
3. Wait. Catch up later. Recognise they are under their own pressures. But tell them despite you recognising that, they had no right to talk to you in the that way. In that forum.
1 is easy, less hassle.
2 goes in circles and fans the flames.
3 is courage.
To do 3 is all about the so called soft & fluffy stuff.
It has nothing to do with knowledge. It’s all about the courage to have the conversation, your ability to manage your emotions, your response. To maintain strength in your voice, but demonstrate understanding, while setting the boundaries of what you will & won’t accept.
It’s not nice, it’s needed all the time & it gets the job done.
There’s nothing soft and fluffy about that.