People don’t half get on your nerves don’t they! They wind you up, they stress you out, they don’t listen, do whatever they want.
Well, that’s what we tell ourselves. The more we tell ourselves, the more we notice it. There’s a name for it. Psychologists call it ‘Conformation Bias’.
So, if we notice these things & they get on our nerves, which means we are stressed & tetchy, how useful is that? Not at all really.
So try this;
Instead of measuring people on their behaviour, measure them on their intent.
1. Always assume positive intent.
2. Ask yourself WHY they are behaving in that way.
3. Be curious & ask them more questions to reveal more information.
4. Build your understanding of what they are thinking.
5. Turn up the volume on your empathy
Now you have more to go on, you’ll notice the same behaviours but will interpret them differently & in turn respond rather than react.
Nice little side effect is you’re less stressed, less tetchy and more approachable.
My favourite author, Rudyard Kipling once said, “I always try to believe the best of everybody, it saves so much trouble.”
Try it, you’ll see.